We were broke, and I was broken

By C. Worley

 If only there was a place to go for support back then, perhaps my choices would have led to quicker healing and recovery as a family.

 I could not see beyond our troubles. The only light at the end of the tunnel was the train, and it was coming at me at full speed. 

My husband was a gambler and had lost all of our savings, prior to losing his job for being intoxicated at work. I knew nothing of this until one day the electricity was shut off. When I called the electrical company, I learned that our bill hadn’t been paid for three months.

 I was blind-sided, and believed that everything was fine. The biggest problem was, I had never looked at a bill in our home, my husband took care of everything. I didn’t know what we had for investments, what was owing on the house, I was financially ignorant.

When I confronted my husband, he broke down and told me that he hadn’t worked in three months and had been going to the casino every day in hopes of winning back what he had lost -  all of our money.

When my friends and family learned of our situation, they urged me to leave him. I felt so ashamed, lost and broken.  I didn’t know how to handle money and I blamed him for everything.  Months of anguish, fighting and finger pointing eventually led us to a recovery program for my husband’s gambling addition, but we lost our home in the process. We were on the brink of divorce when we were introduced to a life coach, who in turn, introduced us to a financial planner.

 The greatest lesson I learned from our troubled year is, we can’t go it alone. Planning and life management requires skills, and tools we did not have and only by working with professionals, we were able to save our marriage, get in front of our financial problems, and begin the road to recovery as a family and a couple. We were able to save our marriage and begin to build a new life.


On February 4th the Divorce Symposium will have professionals from all disciplines to talk with, answer questions and provide advice on legal, financial, life planning, health and wellness.

Join us for a day of learning. From 8:30 to 4:00, at the Edmonton Expo Centre. $55.00 includes parking, and lunch, and refreshments throughout the day.

 

 

 

 

 

Should I stay or should I go?

By S. Carnegie

When I woke up to the fact that I was in a dysfunctional marriage, I waffled and wavered between leaving and staying.  I would talk to myself, “maybe I can get used to this”.  That thought would quickly be replaced with, “I hate it here, and I am growing more resentful each day”. My self-talk usually concluded with, “what will people think if I end another marriage?”

 My husband’s angry demeanor affected my teenage daughter to the point that she packed up and left home, moving to Vancouver with a friend.  He was delighted with her move, and that was the tipping point when I decided I didn’t want this anymore.  But what was I going to do. there wasn’t much in the way of support at the time.

 We don’t realize how damaged we become in an abusive home, until there is enough time and space between the last incident and the peace of a new life. I was fortunate to have found a therapist to work through my feelings and get my life back. This took time and through the course of my therapy, I questioned whether I was doing the right thing by leaving.

 The end of a marriage is not much different than the death of a loved one, there are stages of grief and anger to work through. When I found myself on the other side of the negative emotions, to feel the joy of being free, I knew I was going to be ok.

That was the emotional side of the situation, the financial was another story all together. I wanted to be free from the hurt, so I signed all assets over to my husband for a speedy closure and clean divorce. If I had access to divorce specialists I would have made different choices.

 We don’t have to go it alone, there is happiness, peace and life after divorce.

 The Divorce Symposium in 2017 will be “life’s launching pad” for people like me who are asking themselves the same question I did, “should I stay or should I go?” 

 

Edmonton Divorce Symposium - February 4th. 2016    All day event $55, includes parking, lunch and refreshments.