Should I stay or should I go?

By S. Carnegie

When I woke up to the fact that I was in a dysfunctional marriage, I waffled and wavered between leaving and staying.  I would talk to myself, “maybe I can get used to this”.  That thought would quickly be replaced with, “I hate it here, and I am growing more resentful each day”. My self-talk usually concluded with, “what will people think if I end another marriage?”

 My husband’s angry demeanor affected my teenage daughter to the point that she packed up and left home, moving to Vancouver with a friend.  He was delighted with her move, and that was the tipping point when I decided I didn’t want this anymore.  But what was I going to do. there wasn’t much in the way of support at the time.

 We don’t realize how damaged we become in an abusive home, until there is enough time and space between the last incident and the peace of a new life. I was fortunate to have found a therapist to work through my feelings and get my life back. This took time and through the course of my therapy, I questioned whether I was doing the right thing by leaving.

 The end of a marriage is not much different than the death of a loved one, there are stages of grief and anger to work through. When I found myself on the other side of the negative emotions, to feel the joy of being free, I knew I was going to be ok.

That was the emotional side of the situation, the financial was another story all together. I wanted to be free from the hurt, so I signed all assets over to my husband for a speedy closure and clean divorce. If I had access to divorce specialists I would have made different choices.

 We don’t have to go it alone, there is happiness, peace and life after divorce.

 The Divorce Symposium in 2017 will be “life’s launching pad” for people like me who are asking themselves the same question I did, “should I stay or should I go?” 


Edmonton Divorce Symposium - February 4th. 2016    All day event $55, includes parking, lunch and refreshments.